|
Tuesday, 16 September 2008 |
|
So I get this riddle by email, and the subject is "Only genius people can open this file." First of all, it's geniuses. Secondly, that's bullshit because all you need to open the file is simple math... not an IQ of 143.
There is a bus with 7 girls.
Each girl has 7 bags.
In each bag, there are 7 big cats.
Each big cat has 7 little cats.
Each cat has 4 legs.
Question: How many legs are present in the bus? Now unless this bus is carrying a couple amputees, I'm gonna assume each girl has 2 legs. I don't know why someone would mention the obvious fact that felids have 4 legs, but fail to mention that a chick has 2. So how is this simple problem solved? Here's the breakdown: There is a bus with 7 girls:
Legs on bus = 7G
Each girl has 2 legs and 7 bags:
G = 2 + 7B
In each bag, there are 7 big cats:
B = 7BC
Each big cat has 4 legs and 7 little cats:
BC = 4 + 7LC
Each little cat has 4 legs:
LC = 4 So, solving 5 equations and 5 unknowns gives us:
<spoiler>Legs on bus = 7(2 + 7(7(4 + 7(4)))) = 10990</spoiler> Am I a genius because I know how to add and multiply? No.
Would a genius wonder about the driver's 2 legs? Probably.
|
|
|
No smoking... no playoffs... |
|
Monday, 14 January 2008 |
|
 
The Royal Plaza on Scotts is Singapore's first 100% smoke-free hotel. Upon arrival I considered switching hotels, but then decided to give them a try. Yesterday's cigarette count: 4. On a different note, how about them Rivers? I missed the Titans game last week because ESPN here finds replays of dog shows and billiard matches more important than the NFL Playoffs. Before I go on, a little history of my luck with Chargers playoff games: In 2004, when the Jets were in town for the wild card game, I was at 36,000 ft. I landed in LAX just in time to catch Eric Barton roughing Brees with 16 seconds to go in the 4th. During last year's divisional game against New England, I was in Bangladesh. ESPN there shows 22.5 hours of cricket per day. The other 1.5 hours are highlights of the previous day's 22.5 fucking hours. So this year, thanks to SopCast and MyP2P, I didn't miss a minute of the Indy game. Sure I had to watch it in 320x240 on my laptop from 2-5 AM in a smoke-free environment... but if the Pats game will be anything like this one was, I'll be doing the same thing this Sunday from 4-7. Can't wait...
So how will I stay awake in class next Monday? No idea. Today I'm keeping my eyes open by doing what I'm doing right now. That third cup of coffee was a little helpful too.
|
|
|
Sunday, 08 July 2007 |
|
I'm starting to hate Facebook. I joined this social utility back in 2005 (when it was only accessible to college students and alumni) because a friend asked me to do so. I logged in 3 days after signing up and would not do so again until 2007. I don't even know why I did... maybe to see if my account was still active. So I log in and find a couple dozen friend requests. Hmm...  After bumping into some old classmates, getting tagged in a few pictures and reading a couple entertaining wall posts, I figured I could live with Facebook. It was simple, neat and -- best of all -- members couldn't customize their profile pages. I fear that might change soon though because Facebook is slowly switching lanes. I don't need my horoscope on my profile, and I definitely don't want a fortune cookie on there either. What really did it for me was the Top Friends application. Wow... Lara has 247 friends... and 242 of them are in her Top Friends list... 73 of which she wouldn't recognize without a fucking name tag. As for other "fun" applications, I'm really not in the mood to bite, buy a drink for, chest bump, dropkick, headbutt, high five, hug, pinch, slap, sucker punch, throw a sheep at, tickle, trip or worship anyone with a click of my fucking mouse.
I currently have just under 20 pending friend requests which I highly doubt will be confirmed. Why? Because they're not my damn friends! If we only knew each other in high school, and to this day I don't have your phone number; attended an Ethics and Society lecture together once before I dropped the class (only to realize during my senior year that I needed it to graduate); share the same last name but have only conversated twice -- at a wedding and, awkwardly, a funeral; or were introduced to each other by a common friend while standing in line at the Barstow In-N-Out one sunny Sunday afternoon in '02, that doesn't make us friends! I have had my fun moments, though. It's great that there are so many dumb people out there because it's these idiots' low IQs that give me a chuckle every now and again. One great example is this superficial, self-centered cunt called Mirna. Her "friends" aren't so sharp either... except maybe the one who questioned her shallowness.
 
|
|
|
Jad the cartoonist meets Jad the analyst |
|
Friday, 01 June 2007 |
|
 I think this comic strip is hilarious. In case you missed any details, here's Jad's meticulous analysis: notice that the red one is the one that noticed it... inno manno 7mar 3al ekher... he is just dumb: he just noticed something weird and pinpointed it. (notice in slide one, he was the only one looking around... he is the observer kinda guy... bass a dumb one)
the green one "men haydole elli... bipannko at the first incident" 7ayawen 3al ekher...
the light blue is so frikin dumb inno he didn't try to rationalize, inno ya shabeb rou2o let us think about it shwei...
halla2 el navy blue one mshakhshab: ma bta3rfo eza bheem la allah... walla he is simply thinking about it...
Captain Obvious he seems he has this suit maktoub 3laya C.O.... like he is full time captain obvious and he confirms obvious facts for a living... he knows that as long as there are mhebeel metel howde, he has work to do...
w bel ekher el conclusion inno they already know C.O. they directly thank him as if it is not the first time he does that to those 4 stooges... and that's why he invites them to eat a dick :D
|
|
|
Tuesday, 22 May 2007 |
|
 This sign really bugs me. $450 million spent on that airport, and no one thought 45º was a bit much? Not one engineer muttered to the other "don't the planes look a little funny to you?" The departures icon tells me we're about to shoot right through the fucking atmosphere, and as for the arrivals... I think I'll take the train back. I took this picture leaving Beirut on my way to Dubai. I'd been there more than a few times, but on this trip, I learned something new...
 The driver drops me off at the airport and leaves. I grab my bags, go through security and look for the Ariana check-in desk. It's nowhere to be found. Actually, the flight isn't even on the 42-inch plasma screens. Turns out I have to go to Terminal 2. Terminal who? Exactly. Terminal 2 is barely mentioned on DXB's website, and doesn't even appear on the interactive map. They state on the website that "Terminal 2 caters to point to point, scheduled, charter, executive and special interest flights such as Haj." It should say "Terminal 2 caters to substandard cities and not quite FAA certified airlines we'd rather not associate with the folk over at Terminal 1."
 
Finally, I give you Kabul International Airport. It's not so much a matter of saving the best for last as it is about chronological order. And to make the experience that much more daunting, the plane I rode in on was a 727. A little history: the 727 was in production from 1964 to 1984. I tried to be optimistic by thinking "maybe they bought it in the 80s," which, by the way, would still make it a quarter of a century old. I did some reading, however, to find that I was very much mistaken. "The first Boeing 727-100C was acquired in 1968, and a second Boeing 727-C was added in June, 1971." Ariana bought 3 more from Air France in '93, probably because they were too old and embarrassing for the French to keep as part of their fleet. The next three months of my life will unquestionably serve to be very memorable.
|
|
|
Tuesday, 20 March 2007 |
|
Toyota. And not just any Toyota... a RAV4. I was riding around in one for almost a month when I was in Tanzania. I sped, ran red lights, went off-roading and did what any typical Lebanese jackass would when visiting a new country. The whole time I was in the car, however, I felt safe. I felt protected. So much so in fact, I couldn't get myself to go to the car wash.
|
|
|
Saturday, 10 February 2007 |
 I had heard about these cigarettes... about how dreadful they were. So I had to try them for myself. At $0.33 and $0.50 for the hard and soft pack, respectively, it was worth the investment. Well, I don't know if I can really say worth the investment, but at least they only set me back a bit of pocket change. I even tried them after several drinks and still couldn't experience anything close to a smooth taste. The good news? If I decide to quit, all I have to do is make the switch. I don't think I'd endure more than three days. |
|
|
Shoulders, Head & Shoulders |
|
Thursday, 11 January 2007 |
 So i'm in the shower the other night and I notice something rather weird about my shampoo bottle. What the fuck does "please destroy the bottle after use" mean? Am I not allowed to simply throw it away? What exactly qualifies it as being destroyed? As I rinsed and repeated, I began to worry that maybe I should start planning for destruction. Sure, I had several weeks to prepare, but this was no joke... not to them at least. "But who's them?" I wondered. Is this a Bengali thing? Is it a P&G thing? Is Ian Fleming behind this? What if I just keep it in the shower sitting upside down and forget about it? What if - are you ready for this? - I decide to get a 25-liter tub of H&S from Costco and just keep filling the damn thing up? Those were my thoughts that night. I had trouble sleeping. |
|
|
Wednesday, 18 October 2006 |
|
Random thought: Are there any Muslim Eskimos? And if so, when do they break their fast during Ramadan? Last I checked you gotta wait until the sun sets before you can eat that dried apricot. So what do you do if you're fasting while spending a week somewhere above the Arctic circle in early July. On the other hand, what if it's December? Hmm...  Anyhow, after almost 14 months of working with the RNCC (Regional Network Care Center), I was finally able to get out. Last week was my first week working on the MTC Touch project. I'm still in Lebanon and will probably be here for another few months, but at least now I'm doing something I enjoy. I had been trying to make the switch since March of this year, but none of the bosses seemed to be interested in what I had to say... until I sent out this email a few weeks ago:
Hi Xxxx,
When I passed by your office a couple days ago, you mentioned that my stay with the RNCC dept might be extended yet again. I know we have talked about this issue several times (and I even emailed you about this back in March of this year), but I fear that maybe I haven't been clear enough. So I'd like to put down in writing exactly how I feel about continuing with the RNCC dept so that there is no miscommunication between you, the RNCC heads and myself.
It's not that I would prefer not to continue with the RNCC; it's that I do not want to continue with the RNCC.
I hope my message is clear enough and that I can be sent on a project as soon as possible. After all, that is the reason I joined Xxxx -- to work on projects with the HRC.
Thanks and regards,
Fuad
You can be nice allow them to push you around, or you can be a bit of an ass and get what you want. Ass is better. |
|
|
Buffalo gals won't you come out tonight |
|
Wednesday, 27 September 2006 |
|
If all goes as planned, I will be in Buffalo on December 3 when the Chargers are in town. This game should be fun... especially if it snows. As for now, I’m still in Lebanon and fucking hating it. Work wants to send me to Pakistan, and I’m ready to go. I don’t care if it’s Islamabad, Karachi or even Rajanfuckingpur. I want out of here. |
|
| << Start < Prev 1 2 3 Next > End >>
| | Results 1 - 10 of 23 |
|
